During her reign over England, Queen Elizabeth I said, “I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king.” These words remind us there are moments when we are confronted with difficult situations and circumstances requiring courage and wisdom. It takes a tender heart coupled with a king’s strength to navigate this journey we call life.
The heart and stomach, although individual parts of the body, work together with the vagus nerve to regulate mental, emotional, and physical nervous systems. Here, our thoughts, emotions, and somatic responses tell a story, inviting us to understand why. Even seemingly negative emotions are not intrinsically bad, as they serve to gauge how thoughts are processed and perceived.
As women of God, mothers, and conduits of peace and safety in our homes, reigning over our emotions seems impossible. External pressure and internal chaos can lead to moments when our emotions feel overwhelming and completely out of control. We are not called to control emotions; instead, we should respond to the signals they send.
Leveling our emotions via healthy and practical approaches provides the stability and clarity of mind needed for navigating difficult decisions, relational ruptures, and stressful situations. We need courage and wisdom in the moment without disrupted and dysregulated emotional barriers. Reconciling moments that mount stress and pressure makes a difference. Failure often leads to frustration, shame, and guilt, which can cause an internal shutdown. In place of connection and relationship, many find themselves disconnected and isolated.
Handling this type of emotional intensity calls for a plan of action seeking spiritual, emotional, and physical rest. Listening to our emotions helps us realize we are not alone and serve a great God who gives us the power and capacity to lead our emotions.
First, we must recognize the need to take responsibility for how we feel and what we can do to self-regulate.
Emotional ownership empowers us to walk in freedom by allowing us to fully submit to God, protect people, and promote authentic priorities. We can feel emotions like fear, anger, or anxiety, but what we do with them makes all the difference. Regulating our emotions allows us to process what and why we feel, which enables us to take the next step.
Romans 12:3 (ESV) admonishes us “not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment.” Regulating allows responsible reflection, which means we operate in sober thinking and exercise sober judgment to align the stomach (raw emotions) with the heart (desires, intentions, spiritual goals).
Second, we must be sure to rest in His presence.
Allowing God to seal our emotional regulation has its roots in understanding the concept of “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). In the stillness, we receive instruction and direction from God. While feelings of anxiety and fear emerge from indecisiveness or lack of direction, taking time to rest and clear our minds from distraction and discouragement helps us better hear the voice of the Lord.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV)
I am reminded of the story of Martha as she busied herself while Jesus was visiting her home. Jesus identified her internal conflict and dysregulated emotions. Her anxiety came seeping through. He heard it in her voice, saw it in her actions, and felt it in her response. Jesus addressed her anxiety and called her to sit at His feet for a moment of peace and instruction.
When we find ourselves in a situation where our emotions are louder than His still, small voice, the answer is found in sitting at His feet, where we find rest for our spirit and a quiet calm for our souls.
Spiritual attunement with Christ creates a bearable emotional yoke. Through Christ, the cares of this world become lighter.
Finally, we must reframe our perception of emotions through a lens of discovery, transformation, and growth.
According to Romans 12:2, transformation comes through the “renewing of your mind,” which aligns us with the “good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Harnessing our emotions and finding stillness before God leads to internal transformation, helping us process and leverage our emotions, and to external transformation in how these emotions influence our actions and interactions with others.
DR. ESMERALDA DELGADILLO is a licensed professional counselor. She serves as the president and clinical director of The Center for Apostolic Counseling. Dr. Delgadillo is also the first lady of Family Fire UPC, Humble, Texas.
